Some things you should know about hysteria…..

Euphoria, according to Wikipedia, is “a medically recognized emotional state related to happiness.” It is an excessive happiness which can be triggered by outside factors like drugs or can be caused by psychological input like personality disorder. Take note that hysteria is not the usual happiness that we feel. It’s not excitement or joy from having something that motivates us. It’s an excessive happiness which means that it is no longer normal.

As mentioned earlier, there are two things that manifest euphoria:

1. Drug-induce hysteria. There are certain types of drugs that stimulate the mental state of a person, causing them to be extremely happy. Such drugs are amphetamine hydrochloride, LSD, Ecstasy, etc. When these are taken by a person, the effect is wild expression of happiness, something that you can no longer control

2. Disease-induced disorder. A personality disorder called Bipolar disorder triggers euphoria among those who have this. It causes them to act extremely depressed for some time, then be extremely happy after. The changes of their mood are extreme.

Sick and tired of perky people? Their optimistic and happy views just irritate you to death, thinking that they are just too holy for their existence. If you just want to show nothing but angst, then you might have hostility running through your veins. And if you, brat, is proud of finally realizing that you are hostile, then there are ways for you to be more proud on that.

1. Show a demonic face. No one wants to see a gloomy face around, right? For sure, if you show an expression like you’re a demon child, everyone will avoid you, thinking that you are nothing but a personification of arrogant, angst-ridden brat who drives the whole world insane.

2. Make everything your issue. The way a person walks…. the way people smile…. the way the word works…. curse it and be mad at it. Remember, a hostile person is always angry so be sure that you hate everything you see.

3. Be an anti-social. This is the core of hostility. Make yourself detached to everything. Never show concern to what’s happening around you…. even if someone is suffering or dying in front of you….

Just a simple conclusion, hostile buddy. Once you do these things, you can finally call yourself a “Full-fledged Hostile Brat.”

Words are difficult to express for someone like me. Sometimes, my friends even think that I am numb, without showing any hint of emotion even at the most stressful times. But I guess that’s just me, an introvert person who can’t express what she feels through words, even in facial expressions. On the other hand, I am not that clueless when it comes to expressions. I also show my concern through sympathizing, especially during the times of troubles. I guess this is my way of showing how much I care for my friends.

In showing this, I do three things…. things that I think are successful in making them feel that “I am here.”

1. I picture myself in their situation. I guess I won’t be able to understand them without considering their feelings and their situation. Since I am not that mature enough to fully understand an important issue, the only that I can do to make myself open-minded is to place myself in their shoes.

2. I console them. Such comforting words like “everything will be okay,” or “I am here for you,” can still pamper your bleeding friend despite the excessive usage of these words. Any expressions of encouragement gives them strength and a feeling that they have friends that care for them can uplift them.

3. I support them. I make sure that no matter what, I am there beside them. This is like making my encouraging words come true…. and no matter what happens, I’ll support their decisions and stick with them.

Once again, tons of tissue papers are piled in the trash can, filled with my tears. You see, I am a very emotional girl who gets deeply touched with almost everything. Show me a dead dog and I will weep like crazy. On the other hand, these days have been more emotional to me. My friend’s aunt just got coma. Visiting her with my friend made me realize what suffering looked like. No offense to my friend, but her aunt seemed quite lifeless. None of her body parts were responsive, except her head. All she can do is to make little glances and gentle moans to assure us that she’s understanding our talks.

Like me, my friend is emotional too. I know it’s really hard for her. And because I love her, I am also experiencing the same pain. God knows how poignant this can be, and I just can’t imagine what would I feel if that kind of situation struck my life. I just wish that would never happen.

Darn, even the thought of it is painful. But I realized that there are actually two things that I can call real suffering:

Losing someone you love. This is a living hell. You’d wish that it was you who’s dead, not the person you hold dearly. Nothing is as painful as staying alive without him/her by your side. Some people say that it’s okay because that person lingers in our soul. And I say that it’s nothing but a screwed up cliché to help us escape the fact that we lose something important that we will never gain.

Comatose. Clearly, my visit on my friend’s aunt influenced me on my perception about suffering. It’s a physical, psychological, mental, and emotional torture that affects both of the sick and his/her loved ones. If you had this, you’d wish you’re dead, because living in a world of corners, hospital machineries, and dextrose is a screwed up existence worse than hell. Furthermore, what would make you more hurt is seeing your loved one suffer because you are bed-ridden and idle, just waiting for Jack the Reaper to fetch you.

Since my old magazines are piled up on my desk, I decide to put them in my drawers to make my room cleaner, and also to kill time. However, while I scan the past issues of Time Magazine, my attention is caught by an issue regarding tsunami in Asia. Remembering the stories behind this tragedy, I can’t help but feel sorry for the victims. It’s a devastating occurrence that tortured those who were left behind, without their homes, without their loved ones. I remembered the time when I donated some of my old possessions. I know it can be of help, but I realize that what I did is just a matter material possession. It can help them survive a day, however it is not something that can really ease them. I know it’s the loss of the loved one that really struck them. Thinking that I wasn’t much of a help, I feel sorry for them, and worse, I pity them.

This tragedy is not the only thing that put me into a state of pitying the suffering.  In fact there are three things that really rip my heart because of pity:

1. The people in Africa…. We know how they suffer from extreme scarcity. Hunger is what kills them, leaving them with only their flesh and bones on their starving community. Angelina Jolie’s “Beyond Borders” shows the situation in Africa. I know what that film showcased is not an exaggeration, but a true depiction of its condition. It’s painful, knowing that there are people out there would be extremely joyful once they eat even a tiny piece of bread while we complain about having better than that.

1. Cyclone in India. A country that was once struck by a cyclone. It is similar to the Tsunami incident and I guess the sight of these people is heart-wrenching, as they clung to the branch of the tress so they wouldn’t get hit by the scorching wind.

1. Grave of the Fireflies. It’s a classic movie anime back in 80’s. Though it’s fiction, it perfectly portrays the condition of Japanese during World War II. This is a story of two siblings who struggled their way in order to survive from the destruction of war. I won’t go into further details but believe me, it would feel like you’d want to commit suicide after watching the film. The scenes are just poignant.

Something that impales you. Something that paralyzes you. Something that makes you stuck in the middle of nothingness. GRIEF…. I love how that sounds…. Something that I love to use in my write-ups…. Yet it is something that I never want to experience.

I have used the idea of grief in many fictions I wrote. Though they were just a creation, I can still feel the weight of it. I never experienced it, but since I have used that subject for a while, I guess I learn some stuff about it.

One of the things I learned is how to cope with it…..

1. Wallow – It’s not wrong to act childlike sometimes, crying yourself to sleep, not eating meals, locking yourself in your room. If it were your expressions of grief, then it’s okay. Some people say that it’s better to let your feelings out than to smile and let it inside for a long time. With this, the tendency is that you won’t be able to move on…..

2. Acceptance – Acceptance will be the only way to overcome grief. You lost something important…. You’re not going to take that back…. So just accept it. It can be hard to accept something you grieve about, but this is something that will make you stronger and better.

There are other things I learn about it, and I know someday, I would be the one experiencing it, not the characters I pulled from my mind. But hey, I am being optimistic, so when that comes, at least I have ideas on what to do.

There are things that are not easy to forget…. And not easy to forgive. I, for one have lots of things that I perceive as unforgivable. On the other hand, that doesn’t give me a peace of mind, as I feel that there is something that needs a closure. Well, I do know that no matter how grave the situation is, I need to be humble and learn to forgive, otherwise I won’t be able to move forward without issues and conflicts.

It’s hard of course, finally swallowing my pride and patching up things with the people I hate the most. But, I have to admit that I felt good when I finally solved my issues with my enemies. I finally forget…. I finally forgive.

Believe me, forgiveness seems to be impossible at first, but once you learn how to do it, everything will be smooth. And if you have issues that you want to close but don’t know how, well these are my steps that teach me how to grab the essence of forgiveness.

1. Stop being angry. Anger and even hatred are the things that trigger you to refuse to forgive. As long as this emotion lingers in you, things will never reach its conclusion.

2. Let it go. Once you start learning the essence of letting go, I guess you’ll be ready to forgive. Let go of that madness. Let go of those past mistakes. Let go of those conflicts. With this, you’ll finally get into the final stage….

3. Acceptance. This is the “last stage” that I’m talking about. Letting go and acceptance go hand-in-hand, for one can’t accept a thing without letting go of their past issues. Once you finally accepted that “it” happened, I guess you are ready to take the next step which is to forgive.

So this is it. I know it’s easier said than done, but once you have the willingness to do it, then everything will fall into place. So if you are considering to forgive someone you hate the most, I do hope that your issues will be solved. Good luck on that buddy.

Thinking back at our Literature class, my teacher said that the only thing that is left in Pandora’s box is hope. If I am to apply that in reality, I guess it’s such a great thing that there is something left in that mystical box, otherwise our world would be torn into gloom and doom.

Despite my idea about this, I guess it’s still hard to keep that precious thing especially when everything seems wrong. I for one, lose hope when the situation is out of my control. One time, a friend of mine sent me two simple messages to console me. Ever since, I keep those messages hanging in my message wall to keep myself from moving during my troubled times.

Here are her messages:

Be optimistic. Like the saying says, “Every dark cloud has its silver lining.” It is a very popular statement to the point that it sounds like a cliché. On the other hand, I guess this statement still works. Besides, it not wrong to think of right things even when the situation is bad. Optimism should, in fact, be practiced.

Have faith. Similar to optimism. But this time, it requires faith and belief that everything will still be a happy ending. Reality doesn’t show much of a fairy tale ending, but it’s a matter of faith that changes the situation.

Those are just two simple messages but those really keep my hope sparking.

It’s raining outside. The could is dark and drops of rain continue to knock on my roof. It’s just like this moment when I first moved from our home. It’s really bittersweet, knowing that I’d miss my family very much, but there were new adventures that would be waiting ahead. I remembered how I cried myself to sleep because I missed those times when I kissed my parents goodnight and when my little brothers sneaked in our refrigerator for late night snacks. But I had to deal with it, otherwise I wouldn’t be as independent as I am today. And since this day reminds me of the times when I experience homesickness, I decide to write something about it.

For those of you that have plans to leave you home, well, let me warn you that it’s not as easy as it sounds. It’ll be harder when you are a family person like me. But it’s not like forever that you will stay in your home. And one day, you’ll leave it for different purpose like marriage and job concerns. So, before you find a new dwelling place, here are some of my tips that you can keep inside your luggage to prepare you for what lies ahead…..

1. Entertain yourself. This is why I strongly recommend you to bring your source of entertainment when you leave. Bring DVDs, CDs, books, journals, sketch pad, and other things that can entertain you. When you are feeling lonely, you have to focus on other things and keep yourself busy.

1. Reminisce. For some, it hurts to reminisce your family bonding because they will feel their absence more. But for me, it can still ease your homesickness while you remember how your father plays a joke, how your mother prepares your things, and how your siblings play games. They may not be around, but at least your memories with them are not absent.

1. Communicate. With the progressing technology the world is establishing, a fast and convenient communication is just one step away. You can talk through phone, cell phone, send e-mails and text messages and even chat. By telling them your condition, they will no longer be worried about you. Besides, you can still feel their company while you communicate with them.

Since I already experienced the weight of homesickness, you can say that my tips are credible. These are the things that help me survive it until I finally accepted that things like this have to happen. Besides, your family will always be there for you, so they are not really leaving you. It just happens that you have to move to your new residence. ^_^

Geez. It feels like a century when I stopped from blogging. It’s just that I have many issues that I coped with so I thought that I better deal with ‘em first before starting to get into my happy blogging world.

Some of my issues are not hard to deal with, especially when it’s a loved-one we are talking about. Well, my best friend and I had this fight. I wasn’t worried about our argument, for I knew that we would be able to fix it. However, it’s the loneliness that really got me. You see, my best friend and I are like sisters. We spend the time together and the both of us feel incomplete when one of us is absent. And since we had a fight, I had to go on a day without her. It really sucked.

However, being an optimist as I am, I know how to deal with while looking at the silver lining. So, I jot down some things in my journal to organized my disarrayed thoughts on how to deal with this loneliness.

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3. Hang-out with my friends. Since my best friend is absent, I went out with my other friends for fun. We dined together, watched a movie, and talked about some things about or lives. It’s these times when you are comforted by them.

2. Keeping a self-journal. Keeping a self-journal is, I guess the best therapy I’ve ever had. Even when there is no one to accompany me, I can still have a communication with myself through the process of writing. Besides, I’ll be able to know more about myself as I write down everything that I feel.

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3. Think of wonderful memories. Despite the absence of my best friend, I can still feel her company while I reminisce our times together. With this, I can lessen my loneliness.

It easier to say those things than do it, for I was affected by our fight. But somehow, I manage to do that list and survive some days without her. But hey, the good thing here is our fight is over and we’re back to ordinary fun-loving women that we are.