Therapist Unlimited Blog

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?”

The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.”

The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?”

The second responds, “God told me I was.”

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, “NO I DIDN’T!”

*Source: http://www.funnyhumor.com/jokes/906.php

An artificial intelligence researcher in Netherlands said that there may come a time that people would have sex with robots and even get married. He predicts that this might happen in 2050 at the state of Massachusetts where it is most liberal and open minded on such innovations that involve robots.

As we all know, robots are slowly mimicking the ways of humans. There are robots created to be maids, or factory workers. There are even dog robots and others. In due time, the researcher said that robots could even have sex with humans. However, he set aside a couple of ethical questions.

One question is will it be able to provide an outlet for criminal sexual urges? Let’s say for example, a pedophile. If they were given a robot child, will this decrease the chances of them having sex with a real child or will it increase the chances? Also, it can cause jealousy in partners who might think that it is an act of infidelity. Moreover, will it help couples in times of sickness? For example, if the woman has a headache, the man could turn to the robot instead of knocking at the door of their neighbor looking for sex.

A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill.

The doctor says, “You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you are going to die this evening.”

The man is distraught and wonders how he is going to tell his wife. Well, he tells her and she takes it pretty well. “Honey, this is going to be a night that you will always remember,” she says. “I am going to treat you like a king!”

She prepares a scrumptious gourmet dinner with wine, candles-the works. After dinner she slips away and returns in the most incredible negligee the man has ever seen.

She leads him into their bedroom. They make the most passionate love they have ever made. The man is beside himself. Once done, the wife rolls over to go to sleep knowing she kept her promise.

Well, the husband is wide-awake watching the clock. He knows that he is doomed. He taps her… “Honey?” he whispers.

She rolls over and again proceeds to make love. Again when they were done she rolls over and he taps her. She is getting cranky, but under the circumstances she grants her husband’s dying wishes. Finally the wife rolls over and begins to snore.

Well, the man decides to tap her again. “Honey?” he whispers.

She rolls over and yells, “Oh sure!…
You’re not the one that has to get up in the morning!!!

You may have received an e-mail regarding mobile phones and cancer already. It has been spreading all over the Internet world lately. Truth is, every type of tissue in our body can absorb a lot of radiation at a different frequency. The radiation from cell phone is not an exception.

Scientists only see a marginal evidence for the changes in the cellular level induced by the use of mobile phones. If there is any bit of association with cancer, it may be because of the stress of being glued on the phone 24/7. In using phones, we also need to relax and take a break.

A mobile phone is a necessity nowadays. Controlled use is a must. After all, there are so many lives that are saved by mobile phones. The police and emergency people are getting leads instantly due to the help of cellular phones. If we ban the technology because we are doubting that it may cause cancer, it may look a little bit shortsighted.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR VIAGRA IS WORKING:

1.You begin to think your mother-in-law is pretty.
2.While sunbathing nude outside standing, birds perch on it.
3.While sunbathing nude outside lying down, you look like a sundial.
4.Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn’t look like such a liar.

*Source: http://www.psychologyhelp.com/sexual-health/sex-joke-4x.htm

The maddest scientists

Here are 10 of the biggest brainiacs to ever walk on earth. Some of them may be really familiar and some of them, you may have heard just know. Either way, they are considered the mad scientists of their lifetime.

10. Johann Konrad Dippel. He is an alchemist and was the inventor of the Prussian Blue, a synthetic chemical dye. He is also known for his quest for the elixir of immortality.

9. Robert Oppenheimer. He is the Manhattan Project’s head honcho.

8. Richard Feynman. Part of the Manhattan Project’s team of mad scientists who developed the atomic bomb.

7. Wernher von Braun. He is behind Hitler’s V-2 rocket program.

6. Freeman Dyson. A respected nuclear physicist and prolific writer.

5. Jack Parsons. co-founded the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and called himself antichrist.

4. James Lovelock. Inventor of Faia Hypothesis that predicts climate change and forecast.

3. Nikola Tesla. Invented the wireless radio and the AC generator that started the electrical age.

2. Leonardo da Vinci. He is known for his paintings and renaissance art.

1. Albert Einstein. He made theories of relativity and big contributions to the fields of gravitation and quantum theory.

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “NO! I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?!”

*Source: http://www.workjoke.com/projoke30.htm

Pain is particular to anyone. In short, it is normal. What is pain and why do many people suffer for so long? It is felt when electrical signals are sent to the brain. When the signal is sent, the brain releases painkillers called endorphins. Here are the facts that scientists know so far about pain.

1. Scientists do not understand pain. Pain for scientists is something that is a complex mixture of emotions, culture, experience, spirit and sensation.

2. Chronic pain shrinks the brain. Based on research, those who have chronic backaches have brains that are 11 percent smaller as compared to those who do not suffer from it.

3. Migraines and sex go together. A 2006 study shows that migraine sufferers had levels of sexual desire 20 percent higher thant whose who are just suffering from normal headaches.

4. Women feel more pain. Women have more nerve receptors than men. This is why they experience more pain than a man.

5. Some animals do not feel our pain. As we all know, animals are the ones being used for experiments. However, most of them have different pain tolerance levels compared to us which makes a study even harder to predict.

It is true that when we accomplish something that we started, we feel really good about ourselves for the accomplishment. I found this pretty funny and really simple way that made a person feel better. I found it in the jokes section. Hope you like it.

—
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.
—

Source: http://www.ahajokes.com/p014.html

Come to think of it, there are more and more girls nowadays who are taken into custody because they committed violent crimes. It turns out that they are the ones doing the things that men usually do.

Researchers have mapped out 3 distinct reasons behind the rise in arrests for girls due to violent crimes. They are as follows:

1. They are trying to relabel the behavior as criminals. This means that those girls who are involved in scuffles at home with family members for example, are arrested for assault.

2. The media are helping out in discovering the violence that women are engaged into. Policy makers are taking notice as well. Which leads to the third reason.

3. Zero tolerance policies are being created and are in effect.

If we look closer, this is a very troubling behavior. The rise in violence goes to show that the streets will not be as safe as it used to be.