Therapist Unlimited Blog

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I’m a deck of cards!
Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I’ll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a bridge…
Psychiatrist: What’s come over you?
Patient: Two trucks, five cars…

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin.
Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish.

Patient: Doctor, people tell me I’m a wheelbarrow.
Psychiatrist: Don’t let people push you around.

Patient: Doctor, I can’t stop stealing things.
Psychiatrist: Take these pills. They should help you. Patient: But what if they don’t?
Psychiatrist: Pick up a Rolls for me.

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a curtain.
Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a billiard ball.
Psychiatrist: Get to the end of the queue (cue).

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m invisible.
Psychiatrist: Who said that?

Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I’m crazy because I like sausages.
Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too.
Patient: Good, you should come see my collection. I’ve got hundreds of ‘em.

If you are suffering from premature ejaculation and you are putting the blame on the crisis in your life that has been kicking your mind from quite some time, then you got it all wrong.

Truth is, it is not entirely inside your head. Scientists have discovered that the propensity is genetically determined.

In men who suffer from this, the substance serotonin appears to be less active between the nerves in the section of the brain that controls ejaculation.

The results of the research confirms the genetic theory and may contibute to possible gene therapy against premature ejaculation. It applies to men who have ejaculated prematurely from their first sexual contact onwards and not for men who started suffering from this later on in life.

Although it is a couple of weeks more, your kids may have already been preparing their costumes for trick or treat night. Kids love the Halloween fever.

However, authorities are scared that somehow, sex offenders may use this day to get their hands on children. Authorities made a couple of adjustments like making known sex offenders stay in jail for a night or putting “No Candies Here” signs at the house of known convicts. This way, they feel that it would be more safe for kids.

Contrary to that belief, sex offenders would not use this as an opportunity to bag kids. There has been no reports whatsoever that kids have been molested during this night. Any offender could do their stuff after a day or so. Truth is, offenders would not expose themselves to kids who wear a lot of things and there are other witnesses who can readily distinguish them. Also, their houses are their comfort zones. Most likely, they would not commit crime within their territory.

Phantom fear is something that is destructive for children. During the night of trick or treats, protect them from cars, dogs and other things. Meeting strangers is the last thing that a parent should be scared of. Let the kids enjoy this time.

There are a lot of problems that go with divorce - emotional, financial and a lot more. Not to mention that it is pretty devastating also and time consuming if I may say.

Like any other thing, when you are going through divorce, you need to gain knowledge. I found a book that will help anyone going through divorce save thousands of dollars on the process. This is indeed a big help especially when the marriage itself is pretty complicated. The book will teach you the work arounds in divorce and it will also teach you how to get good lawyers.

For a small fee of $27, you can save thousands of dollars! Act now and save lots of money! Click here to get the book.

All sorts of things bother us all the time. Sometimes, even your friend’s friend’s problem also affect us. In this case, if the problem gets on top of our heads, we just seem to lose every bit of concentration and do things the wrong way. That is what usually happens. Who would have known that hypnosis can take care of this problem?

Hypnosis can take care of your problem. That’s a fact. You will learn to hypnotize yourself and control the behavior that you do not want to be manifested by just reading an e-book packed with all the things that you want to know about how hypnosis can cure you. All that for just $19.95. It is just a small fee to pay for the change in life that you want. Check it out and you will see the beauty of a different life - a life without worries. Click here to get your copy!

I saw this poem online and I think it is dedicated to someone who has a mental problem and she was referred to as an angel. This is pretty touching. I hope you like it.

Prayer For An Angel
By Kim Hoelzer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray God will hear my prayer.
Why does she hurt herself like she does?
Why is she so unfair?

She finds relief by cutting herself.
All it does is tear me apart.
Why can’t she see how much she’s loved,
and that this is breaking my heart?

Whenever she gets upset
she takes a razor to her wrist.
What if one day it slipped?
What if one day she missed?

I beg you to send an angel.
I’m like the blind trying to lead the blind.
I try to help her see the light.
I cry ’cause it’s so hard to find.

Everytime I see them,
the cuts she inflicts on her own,
My heart wrenches-I feel like crying.
I can’t handle this alone.

I love her so much.
She means the world to me.
But how can someone I need so much
be so unhappy?

If only an angel could come down to earth
and take away all her pain.
Lift her above all the clouds.
Shield her from the rain.

She was always the strong one.
The one I looked up to.
To me she was invincible.
Now look what she chooses to do.

I pray tonight for help
to make her be okay.
Please will you send an angel
to make this go away?

You often hear the word momentum in sports. It is true that the psychology of momentum can help make or break a certain team.

A winning streak carries a positive momentum for an athlete or a team. Let’s take basketball for example. Players who get to score baskets tend to become more confident to take the shots even in difficult situations. Once it keeps going, it seems that basketball becomes a very easy game to play and to add to that, the pressure of missing shots is slowly drifting away. On the contrary, a player who kept on committing turnovers and those who can’t seem to get the ball into the hoop loses a lot of confidence. Momentum then becomes a negative effect. They tend to think of how NOT to screw things up instead of thinking what they should be doing. This strongly disrupts team plays and personal mindsets during the game.

Sports not only teaches us physical toughness but mental toughness as well. Do you have the strength to play hard ball?

Do you want to learn the secrets that most people will never, ever know about mastering their mind power? Well, I have the right tool for you. I found this program that will teach you amazing mind programming method that creates changes without using any will power. It will open your eyes to the true potential of your mind. After reading this piece, you will learn how to sharpen and enjoy your intuition, boost your creativity and get a lot of brilliant ideas. You will be able to unlock your subconscious mind and attract luck, health and wealth!

If it doesn’t work, then they will give all of your money back! No risks involved! Try it out now and know the secret! Click here to get your copy.

How can you be happy? For me, being happy means doing the things that I like to do and living the life that is right for me. being happy is pretty easy as long as you know what to do.

So how can you really be happy? That’s simple, I found a program that can help you live the life that you have always wanted to live — a happy life. You will discover your inner self and your heart’s desire. By reading the book and following it, you will have more energy, feel more alive and connected to your core energy. Plus, you will have better relationships with the people around you.

For just $49, you will have The Power of Practice e-book along with 4 others that will change your life. That is a guarantee. And if it doesn’t, you’ll have all of your money back. No questions asked. Click here to get your copy.

Symptoms include, but are not limited to…

1. Overwhelming urge to strangle any person who glibly says, “You’re having personal problems? YOU should know how to fix them, you’re the psychologist, heh heh.”

2. When someone accuses you of being “antisocial” because you have to study instead of socialize, you scream, “No, I’m being obsessive-compulsive! If I we’re antisocial, I’d beat the crap out of you right now…”.

3. Compulsion to diagnose and design treatment plans for TV characters.

4. Getting excited about relaxing adventures such as grocery shopping.

5. Playing on the Internet all night to avoid any “productive” (as defined by your professors) activity.

This disorder is caused by…

1. Having to try to reason with people who are totally out of contact with reality — e.g., professors.

2. An average of 3 hours sleep per week.

3. Working 2 part time jobs, in addition to classes and training, to pay for your tuition.

4. A steady diet of bagels (munched while running from class to job to class) and chocolate covered espresso beans.

5. Stat-ware packages that mutilate your project beyond recognition.

6. Family, friends, and acquaintances who assume you’ll always be their 24-hr free shrink, and never have any emotional needs of your own

This message was originally created by PTSD sufferer, Carolyn D. Sullins of the University of Illinois.

*Source: http://www.cairns.net.au/~sharon/jokes/psychjok.htm