Therapist Unlimited Blog

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I’m a deck of cards!
Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I’ll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a bridge…
Psychiatrist: What’s come over you?
Patient: Two trucks, five cars…

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin.
Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish.

Patient: Doctor, people tell me I’m a wheelbarrow.
Psychiatrist: Don’t let people push you around.

Patient: Doctor, I can’t stop stealing things.
Psychiatrist: Take these pills. They should help you. Patient: But what if they don’t?
Psychiatrist: Pick up a Rolls for me.

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a curtain.
Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a billiard ball.
Psychiatrist: Get to the end of the queue (cue).

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m invisible.
Psychiatrist: Who said that?

Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I’m crazy because I like sausages.
Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too.
Patient: Good, you should come see my collection. I’ve got hundreds of ‘em.