Therapist Unlimited Blog

For how long have been single?
If you have been single for a long time already and had not find any luck in finding someone to love maybe you need some help.
Actually, there is nothing wrong in being single as long as you are happy with it, but having relationship with someone is also a pleasant experience right?
Having a special, someone who will care and love you is indeed special.
Of course there are negative effects of having relationships but let us not deal with it and just focus on finding ways to help singles all over the globe find their well deserved love from someone.
Here are few guides to all singles who wish to find special someone in their lives.

Being single is good but having relationship is much nicer right?

A. Know what you want in a relationship

All singles that are searching for someone to love must first do self-examination and ask themselves what qualities they are searching from a man or woman they want to have a relationship.
In writing, lists avoid negative words and statements so that luck will guide you in your search.
The negative statements could be “I want a man who will not humiliate me", instead of negative words you can say, “I want a man who will love and value me as a person".
When you are done with the list try, also joining dating activities and bonding with other people who knows your special someone could be among them.

B. Think positive

After knowing what you want, the second step if to have a positive outlook in life.
Believe that no matter what happens you still find your mate.
Avoid any negative thoughts in your mind so that you can have a positive result in your search for someone to love.

 
 C. Allow fate to take its course

When you already finished listing the qualities, you are looking from a man or woman it is now time to leave everything to fate and destiny.
If it is your fate to find someone to love then you will find it no matter how difficult the situation is.
Do not focus all your time and effort in searching for love since it could result to negative thoughts and emotions.
Always remember the saying "Stop looking for love since love will just find you".

D. Identify and let go your fear

One of the reasons why a number of men and women remain singles for quite some time is their fear to engage commitment or knowing other people.
To succeed in finding your special someone a person needs to know what is his or her fear in relationship that made him loveless for a long time.
Once you identify such fears, do something to resolve it so that love will come you freely.
Always bear in mind that fear is a negative emotion that needs to be detached from your self if you need to succeed in finding someone to love.
Having someone to love is such a wonderful experience so always allow your self to accept such a situation in your life so that love will your way.
It is always a good thing to be open to many possibilities so it is time to set aside all your fears and embrace the opportunity to love and be loved.

A recent research from Vanderbilt University showed that aggression sports like boxing and football are the same in importance like sex, food and drugs.
Craig Kennedy, professor of special education and paediatrics of the said university explained brain processes aggression as a reward like sex, food and drugs.
“Aggression occurs among virtually all vertebrates and is necessary to get and keep important resources such as mates, territory and food,” Kennedy said.
“We have found that the ‘reward pathway’ in the brain becomes engaged in response to an aggressive event and that dopamine is involved," Kennedy added.
The result was achieved on the experiment the school conducted on a pair of mice - one male, one female -, which was kept in one cage, and five “intruder” mice were kept in a separate cage.
The female mouse was temporarily removed, and an intruder mouse was introduced in its place, triggering an aggressive response by the “home” male mouse. Aggressive behaviour included tail rattle, an aggressive sideways stance, boxing and biting.

Aggression sport like boxing is the same in importance like sex, food and drugs.

The home mouse was then trained to poke a target with its nose to get the intruder to return, at which point it again behaved aggressively toward it. The home mouse consistently poked the trigger, which was presented once a day, indicating it experienced the aggressive encounter with the intruder as a reward.
The same home mice were then treated with a drug that suppressed their dopamine receptors. After this treatment, they decreased the frequency with which they instigated the intruder’s entry.
In a separate experiment, the mice were treated with the dopamine receptor suppressors again and their movements in an open cage were observed. They showed no significant changes in overall movement compared to times when they had not received the drugs. This was done to demonstrate that their decreased aggression in the previous experiment was not caused by overall lethargy in response to the drug, a problem that had confounded previous experiments.
The Vanderbilt experiments are the first to demonstrate a link between behaviour and the activity of dopamine receptors in response to an aggressive event.
“We learned from these experiments that an individual will intentionally seek out an aggressive encounter solely because they experience a rewarding sensation from it,” Kennedy said. “This shows for the first time that aggression, on its own, is motivating, and that the well-known positive reinforcement dopamine plays a critical role.”
 

One of the common problems that singles face in life does not only on finding the person to love but making sure that person had no commitment in life.
Finding out if your date is, married is not an easy task since the married person on date and flatly deny it except if he or she is honest enough to admit it.
Although the task is not easy, there are some early warning signs that your date is already committed to someone else.

Are you sure the person you are dating is not married?

1. Hard to reach telephone lines

If you will have a hard time contacting your date in his or her home, office and mobile number the most likely reason is he o she is married and do not want their partner to discover he or she is having an illicit affair.
Those persons who cannot be reached in their phones are not worthy to be trusted since they cannot be there with you if ever there is an emergency.

2. No permanent address
 

A person you are dating who has no permanent address is showing tell tale signs he or she is already married.
If your date wants to constantly visit you at your office or house but will not allow you to do the same to him or her there is a big possibility he is hiding the truth that he is already a married person.
No person in his right mind would not give his exact address to the person he or she is courting if he or she unless they are hiding something.

3. Not keen to discuss personal life

Have you dated someone who refuses to reveal to you any personal information about him or her?
That person could be hiding something from you that relevant information could be the fact that he or she is married.
Remember if a person is sincere in loving you, he or she must tell you relevant information about his or her life.

4. Not too interested in public places

 
 

Another interesting signal that the one you are dating is married is when that person is not interested to go out on a date with in a regular basis in public places like mall, park and restaurants.
You must realized that married persons who cheats on their mate by going on a date with single persons love to hide in places where they cannot be easily be found like the house of their date or places that are not frequented by people.
 

 

5. Odd calling hours

 

Another easy to detect sign that the person you are dating is married is when he or she calls you during odd and unexpected hours of a day.
When he or she calls in the wee hours of the night when you are already sleeping.
If he or she has no obligation why would he or she not call during normal hours unless they are hiding something.

6. Mum on pictures on wallet or belongings

If a person you are dating is not interested to discuss the photos of a woman and children in his wallet or persona belongings that person could be married.
A person who has nothing to hide is confident in discussing anything that can be found in his or her wallet and personal belongings.

If your date is afraid of holding your hands, kissing and hugging you in public there is a big tendency he or she married.
A person who is free from any form of commitment is not afraid to engage in Public Display of Affection (PDA) if he or she really truly loves you.

8. No visible friends

A person who is courting you if he or she is indeed sure with their intention should also be open to tell you their friends.
If he or she loves to go out with you without their friends, the possibility is they are hiding something from you.
Long lasting relationship does not rest on two people but the bunch of friends that around their relationship.
 

Keeping sexual relationship among couples long lasting is not an easy task.
Boredom and familiarity are too common issues that will come to play to couples who have a long-term sexual relationship.
Here some easy to follow guide on how to achieve long term -sex for couples worldwide.

Having long lasting sexual relationship among couples is not an easy task.

A. Constant talk
 

To avoid boredom couples must constantly talk to each other about their daily life including their sexual interaction so that whatever problem they can discuss it openly.
In your talk, make sure the two of you are honest with each other so that all issues will be discussed.
Each of the couple must also be considerate and understanding so that every problem they might encounter will have a happy compromised.
 

B. Compromise
 

As mentioned in my last statement above, to last long in sexual relationship couple must learn to forge a happy compromise with each other if ever they encounter some problems.
We should always think that each of us has been created unique from each other that is why we need to understand each other’s different personalities.
Take each other’s diverse character as your motivation to love and care for each other more
 

C. Get connected with each other emotionally
 

To last long in relationship couple must share the same emotion of love and care for each other.
If ever a man and his wife engage in sex it must be because they want to show their love for each other and not merely to release their tensions or lust for sex.
I tell having sex in a calm and relax manner is such a heavenly experience for all.

4. Open mind to experiment
 

Another interesting tip to have a long lasting sexual relationship is to have an open mind to experiment on new ways of sex.
Trying new positions and styles in sex will eliminate monotony and boredom in your sex life.
Remember some new ideas might not sound and look good but if you experience it could even lead to a rewarding and fulfilling sex between couples.

Here is some good news to all women who regularly wear high heel shoes.
A recent study conducted showed that women who wear high-heeled shoes have better chances of having a good sex life.
Dr. Maria Cerruto, Italian urologist said wearing high heels could improve the pelvic muscles, which could boost women’s sexual activity.
Cerruto said based on her study 66 women below the age of 50 who were all wearing a two inch heel had good posture and good pelvic muscles compared to those women wearing flat shoes.

Women who wear high heels shoes have better chances of having a good sex life.

She said the result of the study suggest that the muscles of those wearing high heels are at an optimum position which could improve their strength and ability to contract.
The pelvic floor muscles is an important part of the female body as they assist sexual performance and satisfaction along with providing support to the pelvic organs that includes bladder, bowels and uterus.
"Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could be the solution," she said.
"It’s good to know they have potential health benefits," she added.

A. The spooning position

 

This position can be very comfortable as there is no pressure on your abdomen and you have lots of movement. Your partner can position themselves behind you at different angles to allow for penetration. Avoid lying on your right side in this position.

 B. Side by side position

 

This type of sexual position allows for more equal physical contact than spooning, but penetration can be a bit trickier. You can cross your legs over each other’s and this may help. As with spooning, this position can be very comfortable as no one is feeling the weight of the other partner’s body.

C. Woman on top
 

This type of sexual position offers the benefit of you being in control of the depth and angle of penetration. Later in the pregnancy, you may find this position more tiring, and if balance is a concern you may prefer a lying down position, but others find this the ideal position.
 

D. Rear entry

According to some sexual expert, this position is good for g-spot stimulation and can be a comfortable change as it is a position you are not in that often, unless you are doing yoga.
This position can either be done on a bed, or modified as a version of the next sex position.
 

E. Edge of the bed position

You can lie on the bed (on your side, or briefly on your back) at the edge of the bed and your partner can be off the bed, on either their knees or standing up. Combined with the rear entry position, you can be off the bed on your knees (with a pillow underneath them) and rest your upper torso on the bed, with your belly off the bed.
 
 
 

Pregnant women who seek sex should follow the proper sex position to avoid any health hazards in their pregnancy.

Are you satisfied with your sex life?
If you say yes good if no I think, it is time for you to work harder to achieve a greater sex life.
Here are five handy tips that can help you ignite more fire in your sex life.
 

1. Aroma Bath

Do you wish to further ignite your sexual passion? Aroma bath is a good solution to this.
It is time to leave your bedroom and have sex inside bathroom in warm water mixed with aroma oils and scented candles.
The warm water and pleasant environment will give you extra energy to make your lovemaking extra special.

An aroma bath will surely ignite sexual passion among couples.

2. Sensual massage
 

Giving your lover a soothing and relaxing massage will certainly heighten the sexual passion of couples.
A good massage does not necessarily require the mastery of the art of the erotic massage all you need is a sharp mind to do the job.
To make the massage more sensual women could use their hair breasts and even eyelashes on the different parts of their partner’s body.
While doing the massage leave the penis untouched until the proper time when your man will beg you to suck or does a hand job on his dick.
 

3. Sex toys aid

The use of sex toys could also ignite sex between couples.
Sex toys are very valuable tools to help couples do some sexual experiments in bed.
You can use vibrators, condoms or the BDSM toys to make your lovemaking more interesting.

4. Eye contact
 

While having sex with your partner make sure your eyes are wide open to see everything that happens in your lovemaking.
Being aware of your sexual environment makes it easy for you to reach to whatever your lover expresses.
Libido will surely rise if you could see other’s naked bodies and reactions to your lovemaking.

5. Dirty Talk
 

Initiating dirty talk to your lover in bed can also spiced up your intimate moment together.
The sexy talk could be naughty like saying you want to eat your lover’s pussy.
Human’s have the tendency to be aroused by sensual words that is why dirty have prove for years that it is a good ingredient for  a passionate and satisfying sex life.

Now it can be told sex inside marriage is not boring but rather more satisfying than engaging in casual sex or lovemaking outside the sanctity of the sacrament of matrimony.
A recent study showed that fears of sexual monotony in marriage is far-fetch since lovemaking in marriages and long-term relationships provide ways for a creative and explorative sex life among couples.
If you are married there are no more limits on your sexuality so you can totally express yourself and undertook sexual positions  experimentation.
Here are three other interesting reason why sex inside marriages is far better than single or dating sex.
 

Sex inside marriage is still far better than lovemaking without commitment.

1. More sex than singles
 

If you are in a committed relationship engaging in frequent sex is common since you have a steady partner who is willing to share your sexual passion any given time and opportunity.
Married couples share the same bed and house which makes sex natural between them unlike those in dating stages or casual sex where couples live in separate houses.
Some might argue that serial daters have more sex than married couples but such an idea is not entirely true.
Although married couples have an average of one or two times  a week sex compared to the those who have no long term commitment who engages in sex three times a day such sexual activities inside marriage last for one whole year and more years in depending on how strong ttheir marriage bond.

2.) Proper communication leads to gratifying sex
 

Married couples share a lifetime commitment of love and understanding regardless of whatever situation they faces which would result in a more ffulfilling sex among them.
A wife and her husband can openly talk about things that can satisfy and make them happy in bed unlike those in dating stage or those involved in casual sex.
No holds barred talk is tolerated inside marriage since couples know they need to coconstantly talk to discuss things to realized their lifetime pledge  till death do us part love affair.
Single people cannot openly talk their sexual preferences since their bond had not than been established yet or they are afraid that their partner will not accept it if they will share their sexual fantasy.
Being open and free flowing in discussing sexual needs inside marriage is very significant to achieve satisfying sex among couples.
 

3. More ways to experiment
 

Sex is more satisfying inside marriage than those who have no commitment since couples are more open to try new sexual positions due to their mutual trust for each other.
Those involved in sex without commitment cannot freely what they want in sex since they are afraid their partner might not accept it unlike in marriage.
If ever there are instances when a husband or wife are not keen to experiment on new position in sex it can still be resolve with a happy compromise between them.
Remember trust promotes love and vice versa so when you engage in sex with love and trust such an intimate encounter is but unforgettable.

Some women are considered award-winning actresses on how they fake orgasm in bed.
There are varied reasons why a number of women resort to this type of lies why having sex with their partners.
Here are some common reasons why women engage in fake orgasms to the detriment of men.

A number of women fake orgasm in bed.

A. Hiding her "inadequacy" to orgasm

A number of women do not really know their true sexuality that is why they have no idea how they can reach orgasm during sex.
To hide their inadequacy or lack of proper knowledge regarding their own orgasm they just fake their orgasm in front of their partner.

B. Insecure on having sex with herself
 

Some women have the adequate knowledge about their own sexuality but the problem lies on their insecurity to show their partner how they can stimulate themselves to achieve orgasm.
Instead of showing their lover how they make love to their own self to achieve orgasm they resort to fake orgasm due to shyness and lack of self-confidence.
 

C. Longer Orgasm blues
 

Another reason why some women fake orgasm is their misconception or fear that their orgasm might be longer than their lover might so they engage to fake orgasm instead.
Women need to realize that in sex sexual partners are engage in a give and take relationship where each other’s needs are address especially on the side of women.
Having sex is a positive thing between couples so why place negative thoughts inside your mind it will just ruin your lovemaking.
 

D. Sensitive of her lover’s feelings
 

Instead of satisfying themselves, some women shift to the idea that their partner will be angry with them if they will not reach orgasm so they just fake it.
Women are afraid of having problems with their lover if ever she not reaches orgasm so they just fake it.
 

E. Had some illness
 

Some women fake orgasm to hide from their lover their sickness of not being able to reach true orgasm.
Women are afraid that their orgasm illness will ruin her happy relationship with her lover so they just fake their orgasm.
 

F. Her lover is lousy in sex
 

In some isolated cases, women fake orgasm simply because their lover is lousy in bed.
Instead of telling their lover straight in, the eyes that he had not satisfy her they just instead fake orgasm in order not to humiliate or embarrass their man.
Women who love to practice fake orgasm it is time to stop such an activity before it will cause rift or worse separation with your partner.

Porn addiction is a problem shared by many men and women today.
This problem deals on someone who has looked at porn excessively and inordinate amounts that sometimes results in lost jobs, failed marriages, and destroyed families.
Whether the motive for consuming pornography is sexual appetite, escape/self-medication, or any other reason, engaging in these addictions causes the brain and body to endogenously produce and release chemical drugs into its own system. These chemicals include: epinephrine (an adrenal gland hormone that "locks-in" memories of experiences occurring at times of high arousal), adrenaline, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), noradrenaline, norepinephrine and testosterone, among others. This drug is dragging millions of troubled victims along in its destructive wake.
Persistent accessing of porn not only provides the addict with sexual arousal, but offers a way to self-medicate in order to escape the realities of life. A porn addict will suffer withdrawal symptoms when they try-or are compelled-to relinquish their vice for any length of time. The withdrawal symptoms may drive an addict to find porn and often causes him to act out his needs in inappropriate ways.
But no need to worry a veteran family counsellor has offered crying as solution to this dilemma.
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says guys and gals who watch porn need to cry a little more.
Shmuley says porn addicts are also addicted to sex and sports which makes them numb from the pressures of life.
He said the best way to resolve porn addiction is to teach men and women how to cry since crying makes them realized that they are still human beings who have emotions.
 "No one cares about a man’s heart, and he becomes depressed, so they use sex to dull the pain. Men don’t want to feel or show emotion unless it’s through sports. Men need to learn to not be afraid to cry, that’s what it’s about,"Shmuley said.

An expert said porn addiction can be resolve through crying.