Therapist Unlimited Blog

Hell, I know it sucks to doubt something, especially when it’s yourself that you are doubting. Believe me, I have been there for a couple of times, and it feels like it is very hard to stand up. No one is really stopping you to move and you can’t do anything you want because of that doubt.

If you are in this situation right now, then you have to take actions before it’s too late…. before your self-worth is crashed. And if you are clueless about such actions, then I will share you to the things that save me from crashing:

1. Believe. This should be the first word that pops in your mind when you are starting to doubt yourself. Believe that you have what it takes to get your goals. Believe that you will conquer your weaknesses and will exceed your limitations. Just believe and you will go far.

2. Stay positive. It is very important to be optimistic. Looking at the bright side even at the darkest times will help you fight your inner monsters.

3. Boost your self-esteem. Your friends and family can help you develop your self-esteem, but at the end of the day, you really are the only person who can boost it. This is because you know your weak spots. Once your self-esteem is boosted, I don’t think doubt can no longer affect you to the point that you will lose some self-worth.

If these things are not much of help, then you can consult a professional who can explain the reasons behind your doubt. Their expertise is solving such cases and with that, they will help you understand it and conquer it.

Guilt…. How I hate the word…. It makes me bothered all the time…. It makes me disturbed all the time…. And I never get peace whenever I feel it. It makes me think of what happened over and over again, even if I’m already sick of it.

Because I can’t stand the burden of guilt, I do these things so I can finally get over it and move on:

1. I divert my attention to other things. No matter how hard it is to get rid of this guilt, I force myself to focus on other things. I watch movie, surf the net, play a video game, and other things that will really catch my attention. With this, I’ll forget the weight of being guilty.

2. I make up for it. This is one way of “atoning” for my mistakes. It is definitely more profound way to overcome guilt. Apparently, when you feel it, you did something that you wish you could take back. But because it is impossible to do that, one of the best ways that you can do is to make up for it.

3. I never do it again. I am definitely not a fool to do something stupid again, that will make me guilty later on. Of course, I should learn from my mistakes and be more mature after that. With this, I can live without any guilt.

With my own guidelines, I can avoid the burden of guilt. Of course, there are still instances when I feel quite guilty, but still, with my personal code, I save myself from the “insanity” it can bring.

A man’s pride….. Even a youngster can understand that. I am girl, and I can’t really understand why men treat their pride like their better half. And sometimes, they do some stuff for their pride…. and sometimes for their ego (which I love to term as their macho image….er). Based on my observation from my guy buddies’ personalities, they do this to make them feel like a real man. I guess this may raise eye brows, but hey, this is just my opinion. Besides, I’m a girl so I won’t be able to completely understand it.

On the other hand, I guess a man’s “pride” is always misinterpreted as “ego” or their “macho image.” For pride is dignity and respect that you give to yourself. With this thought, I ask my male buddies about what makes a pride of a man….. And here are their answers:

1. Sense of responsibility. Since women nowadays are becoming more independent-minded, strong-willed, fighters, men tend to lessen their will to take responsibilities, thinking that us, girls, can take actions. A divorced man can be a primary example for this. He can forget about his child’s needs simply because his mother can nurture him. But hey, a man should always know how to take responsibilities in every action he makes.

2. Living up to their words. It’s very easy to make promises. But the real challenge here is if one can live up to it and fulfill it. And hey, even when it hurts him to do that, it takes a real man in order to keep his promises.

3. Fulfillment of their dreams. Men have always been proud for their strength. And if this so-called “strength” isn’t able to put them to their goals, I guess the thought of it is humiliating. That is why, a man has to prove himself, not just to the people around him, but to his self as well.

Argh! I can’t sleep from thinking about what happened a while ago. I joined this crazy group on their wacky plan to vandalize the library in our campus. I have to admit that it’s really fun to do that, but what broke our spontaneity was the school guards who caught us in act! And tomorrow we will be facing the school administration to discuss about our “fates” in school.

Thinking back, I wish that I didn’t join them. I knew in the first place the tight security system around our school, and getting caught was not impossible. But hey, I was carried away with their silly ideas so I ended up coming with them. So here I am, anxious about what will happen tomorrow. However, what really makes me disturbed is this regret. I’m guilty and I am regretful. And because I know our crazy stunt is a serious school offense, the only thing that can keep me from being kicked out is to show my sincerest remorse.

Anyway, since I am still bothered and disturbed, I decide to just post a blog about this. I bet, you readers (if there’s any ;p) will somehow get related with my situation, as everybody has at least something that they are regretful of. So, to make this stuff lighter, and to help me forget about my tomorrow’s “fate,” let me just give you some pieces of advice on how to express sincere remorse (if that is, you want to make up for your mistakes):

1. Apologize. “I’m sorry,” is a common statement uttered when someone commits a mistake. On the other hand, this has turned into a meaningless thought as one speaks of it without any sincerity. So, if you don’t want to be like this “devious one,” then look someone at the eye and contend this word with all your sincerity. In this way, the person will spot your regrets for your mistakes.

2. Make amends. Find a way on how to make up for your wrong doings. It can be a good deed, a favor, or even a compromise.

3. Learn from your mistakes. Once you regret an outrageous thing, be sure that you won’t be doing it again. After all remorse is about being apologetic for your mistakes and it will only be worthless when you do the same thing again.

This is just a short list, nevertheless, it is still helpful. In fact, I think I am taking my own advice to prepare myself for tomorrow’s judgment. Sheesh….

There’s terrorism, there’s scarcity, there’s war, there’s inequality, there’s abuse, and there are millions of things that can make you depressed. But hey, life is still beautiful and there are things that can bring smile in your face. Yeah, in fact it can make you really happy.

To brighten up your day, here are some things that will remind you that it’s happy to live.

The beauty of nature. The wonderful scene of sunrise, the breath-taking sight of sunset, the scent of green grass, the coolness of the breeze, the touch of the sand, and the current of the sea….. these are some of the best things about nature. If you’re going to pause for a while and take a look at them, you’ll appreciate it more.

Good times with your buddies. These are the days when jokes and laughter are your language, when you drink, eat, play, and party harder. Then you exchange some stories and take pictures together. The bonds that you share reminds you that it’s not everyday that something bad happens to you.

Good work. Achieving your goals uplifts your self-esteem. It boosts your confidence after accomplishing a hard task. It is a way of telling you that despite the difficulties, there are good things that will happen in the end.

These things may bee too shallow for some. However, if you get to appreciate small things such as these, then happiness can be achieved easily.

Being an appreciative person as I am, I have expressed thousand of thank yous to the people around me. Whether it’s a simple act or a big favor, I make sure that they know how thankful I am. In fact, I learned to say “thank you” in various languages such as “arigato gozaimasu” (Japanese), “merci” (French), “danke” German, and “spasibo” (Russian). But being flexible in foreign language isn’t enough. As I said, I want them to feel my warmest gratitude, so I exert some efforts to return the favor.

Gift-giving. There are loads of items in the market that can be a thank you gift. But sometimes, I make sure that my gift is more symbolic or more valuable by creating a hand-made gift myself. I once did a colorful and artistic framed picture of my friends and a box of messages for them.

Healthy gratitude. Cooking for them has always been delightful. Even when I am not good in this field, with a guidance from my mother (who is expert in cooking) and a good instruction in the cook book, I’ll still manage to prepare them a decent meal.

Lend a helping hand. This is my way of giving back their kindness. I make sure that I give my best shot in helping them, whether it’s a topic they can’t comprehend, repairing a broken item, or during times of trouble. But of course, I do this not only because I am returning the favor, but because I want to be there because they are important to me.

There are other ways that I do to express my appreciation. Some of them are not that special. Gee, some of them come in the simplest manner. But the bottom line here is, I am making them feel that their act of kindness is being appreciated.

Fear comes in different forms. It can be fear of losing your loved one, fear of ghosts…. and can be expressed in different ways such as terror, anxiety, paranoia, and phobia. And among them, phobia is commonly manifested by the people who have terrifying experiences and sometimes, they find it difficult to overcome it.

“Phobia” is a Greek word for “fear.” It is caused by fear of certain objects and situations and is classified as an anxiety disorder. Researchers and doctors have classified them to hundred kinds, and the three mentioned below, according to phobia~fear~release.com, are the most common phobias experienced by people:

3. Aerophobia. The fear of flying. People who suffer from aerophobia have a traumatic experience in riding airplanes, or sometimes, witnessed the true horror of a plane crash.

2. Social phobia. The fear of open criticisms. Social phobia is usually triggered during childhood, where the person was evaluated in a negative way. Because of this, people who suffer from this phobia has difficulty in socializing or mingling with people. And when in a huge crowd, they can even experience excessive sweating, trembling, inability to speak, etc.

1. Arachnophobia. Fear of spiders. Maybe it is because of their lethal poison or because of their creepy appearance that people become arachnophobic. According to statistics, 90% of arachnophobic are women while 10% are men. And one of those arachnophobics, is well, um, yours truly. I don’t have any rational explanations for this, but I am always freaked out whenever I see one.

As they say, the best way to conquer this fear is to face it. But for some, this is easier said than done as they become paranoid when faced with their biggest fear.

I never thought the simple question “What if,” can give so much impact to me, piercing my heart with pain. This question always pops in my head when I did a mistake, or rather a regret that I may no longer be able to take it back. It even sucks more than committing a big mistake, for at least I’ll have the chance to make up for it. But when regret is made, I guess I can’t do anything but mop around and ask myself with “What if.”

For those who have lived their lives without any regrets, well, I salute you for having a wonderful existence. But for us who have some regrets, well, I do hope that one day, we find a great way to deal with them…. and maybe…. just maybe…. we will be able to take it back.

Because regret is one of the most poignant thing that can happen to one’s life, here are some ideas as to how it can be an emotional burden:

“Shoulda, woulda, coulda.” This is an RnB song by Beverly Knight. Though it doesn’t express much about regret, but its title has already hit its essence. In fact it is similar to the question “What if,” only that this phrase has a larger impact on people who have regrets. Just thinking about the possible answers to this piercing phrase already gives an idea on how painful regrets can be.

Wishing to turn back time. It’s impossible, and the only thing we can do is wish that we have the power to bring back the hands of time. In that way, at least we wouldn’t be committing something that we’d regret.

The difficulty of acceptance. Since we can no longer take back what we did and it’s hard to take it back, acceptance will be the last thing in our mind. As we wallow, question ourselves, and wish to do something that is clearly impossible, it seems that we can never accept the fact that “it” already happened. And well, you know how hard it would be like dying without learning how to accept…..

The best thing to avoid regrets is to think carefully before doing something, especially if it will create a larger impact on the people. That is just one of the things that I learned from having regrets. And if mistakes are already done, I guess the greatest way to deal with it is to admit that you made a mistake, accept it, and do something about it…. before it becomes something painful…. like regrets….

They made us scream in fear, brought chills to our spine, shocked us to the bones and scared us to death. The unexpected turn of events, the crimson shadow lurking behind, the blood lust reflected in their eyes, the nothingness of darkness…..

These are some of the horror films that will keep you awake in night…..

Amity Ville - Haunted houses are a common element for a horrorflick. A family buys this new, beautiful house only to find that it is cursed and haunted. In Amity Ville, that typical plot is applied, but the terrifying touch is there.

The Omen - A child is supposed to give joy and light to the family, but what if he’s actually a son of darkness? That he’s a devil in disguise…. that he can cause so much horror just by looking you in the eye….

The Grudge – An Asian horror film that is even scarier than some of the well-known Hollywood movies. Gosh, I remember how Asian horror films become the trend in our place. Well, it starts with The Ring (for additional information), and hits the screen to various countries across the globe. After this Asia has become famous for producing quality horror movies. On the other hand, The Grudge has traditional elements of such flicks. A child is haunting their parents or siblings for maltreatment. He is dressed in white clothes with a VERY SCARY face.

Shutter – You’ll never know what to see when your camera starts to click. A photographer discovers a female ghost in their campus through picture taking. Of course, there are twists and turns in this movie as the scene gets deeper. Because of its unexpected chain of events it will leave you quite terrified while gasping your breath.

The Exorcist – A classic horror film. Nothing beats the scene where Linda Blair’s head makes a 360 degree turn and her walk in an upside down manner.

Love, I suppose, is the most valuable issue in one’s life. Even before we are born, love has already been shown as our parents has established it as the foundation of their relationship. But then again, love is not just about marriage and relationship with the opposite sex. There is definitely more to love than that. In fact, love is classified into several types. And let me share three of them:

Agape Love – The very core of love. It is a divine emotion bestowed by the Almighty Father. Agape love is more commonly called as “religious love.” This is the devotion that we show to faith and religion, the worship and the loyalty that we express for our Creator.

Familial Love - How we value our family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, etc. is called Familial love. This is the foundation of our bonds with the people we are close with.

Eros Love – I guess this kind of love is one of the things that intrigues us. Eros is the god of love in Greek mythology, and his name is used to defy romantic love or love for the opposite sex. This is the very reason on how we get deeply attached to our partner.

There are still some things that we don’t know about love. It can be its kind, psychology, or definition. However, I don’t think vast knowledge of love is that crucial (though it helps us to understand what it means), as long as you feel the very essence of it.