Therapist Unlimited Blog

According to medical experts, one of the best ways to cope up with tress in work is to forge a smooth relationship with your family and friends.
Based on a study, it was uncovered that a smooth relationship with our love ones reduces the negative effects of work-related stress on our health.
In a research conducted by Ann-Christine Andersson Arntén, a faculty of University of Gothenburg, Sweden she found out that a positive approach and successful stress-management techniques also help to reduce the negative effects of work-related stress.
However, Arntén said when there are stressful experiences both at work and in the relationship, the risk of burnout and poor health increases dramatically.
To get the data, the researcher examined 900 persons took part in her survey.
The survey consists of those who felt they had a good relationship experienced that they enjoyed better health than those who had a more problematic relationship, women with a poorly-functioning relationship experienced more anxiety, mental stress reactions and sleeping difficulties than women who had a good relationship, and men who had a mediocre relationship had a higher incidence of depression, anxiety, psychological and somatic stress reactions than men with worse or better relationships.
Arntén said although the study shows some gender differences, differences amongst individuals belonging to a gender were much greater than the difference between the genders.

Being happy in a relationship is a great way to cope up with work-related stress.

Arntén explained after having been exposed to stress, the body must recover and recharge itself.
She said if there is no opportunity to recover because the work does not allow for breaks and lunches, the body’s reserves are emptied, and poor health ensues.
She added the same principle applies when a person takes work home, frequently works overtime or has recurring quarrels and problems in his or her relationship.
According to her, the effects of the sometimes small but recurring stress situations of everyday life sneak up on a person, who at first does not even notice them.
Furthermore, Arntén revealed the person under stress adapts and tries to accommodate the demands and changes he or she face, until one day, there is such a great imbalance, that massive efforts are needed just to manage everyday life.
She said not taking time to recover can lead to impaired physical and mental health and cognitive and concentration problems, which reduce performance and problem-solving ability and this leads to consequences both at home and at work.

For how long have been single?
If you have been single for a long time already and had not find any luck in finding someone to love maybe you need some help.
Actually, there is nothing wrong in being single as long as you are happy with it, but having relationship with someone is also a pleasant experience right?
Having a special, someone who will care and love you is indeed special.
Of course there are negative effects of having relationships but let us not deal with it and just focus on finding ways to help singles all over the globe find their well deserved love from someone.
Here are few guides to all singles who wish to find special someone in their lives.

Being single is good but having relationship is much nicer right?

A. Know what you want in a relationship

All singles that are searching for someone to love must first do self-examination and ask themselves what qualities they are searching from a man or woman they want to have a relationship.
In writing, lists avoid negative words and statements so that luck will guide you in your search.
The negative statements could be “I want a man who will not humiliate me", instead of negative words you can say, “I want a man who will love and value me as a person".
When you are done with the list try, also joining dating activities and bonding with other people who knows your special someone could be among them.

B. Think positive

After knowing what you want, the second step if to have a positive outlook in life.
Believe that no matter what happens you still find your mate.
Avoid any negative thoughts in your mind so that you can have a positive result in your search for someone to love.

 
 C. Allow fate to take its course

When you already finished listing the qualities, you are looking from a man or woman it is now time to leave everything to fate and destiny.
If it is your fate to find someone to love then you will find it no matter how difficult the situation is.
Do not focus all your time and effort in searching for love since it could result to negative thoughts and emotions.
Always remember the saying "Stop looking for love since love will just find you".

D. Identify and let go your fear

One of the reasons why a number of men and women remain singles for quite some time is their fear to engage commitment or knowing other people.
To succeed in finding your special someone a person needs to know what is his or her fear in relationship that made him loveless for a long time.
Once you identify such fears, do something to resolve it so that love will come you freely.
Always bear in mind that fear is a negative emotion that needs to be detached from your self if you need to succeed in finding someone to love.
Having someone to love is such a wonderful experience so always allow your self to accept such a situation in your life so that love will your way.
It is always a good thing to be open to many possibilities so it is time to set aside all your fears and embrace the opportunity to love and be loved.

 A popular saying goes "Love can be found anytime and anywhere".
But, one of the best places to find love is inside bookstores, a place frequented by those people who love to read books.
To find love in bookstore is such a blessing but doing so is not an easy feat.
It might not be easy but there are some practical tips to get women in bookstores.
 

Persons seeking love could find their mate in bookstores.

A. Women frequent large bookstores

To find single and unattached women visit large bookstores especially those who have coffee shops.
Women usually visit large bookstore instead of the small ones since these places are comfortable and have lots of books to choose from.
In small bookstore it is hard to initially meet women since people in these places are usually focused on buying books and other things sold in the store.

B. Rely on your own knowledge on books

It is easy to talk to women inside bookstore if you are familiar with the topics that interest her.
When you see a woman reading book approached her and tell her about the book she is reading or if not ask her about her favorite books.
In doing so, only speak about your own stored knowledge on books to avoid possibilities you might end up losing your conversation.
It is always good to impress a woman but do it is a way that might not place you in a bad light.
When a woman sense that you are not really knowledgeable and was only trying to impress her, there is a big tendency she will not accept your love proposal.

C. Approach a woman searching for books

It is easy to find love inside bookstore if you will approach a woman searching for a particular book to buy.
A woman who is still looking to find books is easy to talk since her mind is still very much open for a dose of conversation.
Try to get the childlike trust of that particular woman by assisting her find the book she is looking for.
If she finds the book she is looking for with your help, there is a strong chance she will reciprocate the friendship you are offering her.

D. Find a better place for conversation

If you approached a woman and already had a few conversations try to convince her to you politely go to some other places to talk.
Tell her that if would be best that you talk in a coffee shop or bar in order no to disturb other people inside the bookstore.
If she accepts your proposal, be happy your chance in finding love is getting closer.
 

 

E. Ask for her number

If the two of you start your conversation, do not forget to get her number for the possibility of another date.
Make sure to politely ask her number in your talk so that she will give it to you.
If she gives her number, well lucky you, she trusted you and showed interest, she likes you.

Battling College Depression by Jacob Malewitz 

College students are apt to depression, because they a great deal of pressures. They are still growing up. They see the world and want to take it. They experience failure. They fall to drugs, receive poor grades, try to work a job and a full class load, and often forget why they are doing it. So, in order to battle depression as a college student, you must be mindful of how tough it is. Then you need to see if you really have depression. First, you need to be honest about your depression. Often during depression you become an introvert: staying alone, reading, staying up late nights, not seeing anyone for days. If any of this sounds familiar, you are close to a depression side. Drug use is obvious, but doing things like becoming anti-social are less so. There is a fine line for you between enjoying yourself and losing yourself. To battle this you must try at least once a week to do something you normally wouldnít do. This could be a coffee at a nice spot downtown, a football party, or going out to see a movie with someone. To avoid isolation, which leads to depression in many, you must develop inner points of recognition. When you want to isolate, and are close to doing it, you need to seek help from someone, anyone who will listen. Professional help is almost always the best method. This makes being alone sound bad. Sometimes you have to fight through a depression by yourself. A college student can do much by themselves, some things more positive than others. If you love reading, a good book could cheer you up. If you like going for walks or jogging, it could have major effects on the lingering depression-decreasing it in many ways. The other side of this is to not fill yourself with alcohol. Just like marijuana and cocaine, there is a comedown off anything intoxicating you put in your body. Too much coffee will make you edgy; too much alcohol can kill you. It can also be a way of self-medicating. Alcohol in moderation is fine, but can be a dangerous alternative during a college studentís depression. Battling depression in college is not about the quick-fix. You must be mindful of who you truly are, what you really like doing, and how to make choices. Depression will still come. How you deal with it when it does come can make the difference between a degree and a therapistís bill. In the end, professional help is the best means for defeating college depression before it leads into some worse, like schizophrenia or drug addiction.

Once again, tons of tissue papers are piled in the trash can, filled with my tears. You see, I am a very emotional girl who gets deeply touched with almost everything. Show me a dead dog and I will weep like crazy. On the other hand, these days have been more emotional to me. My friend’s aunt just got coma. Visiting her with my friend made me realize what suffering looked like. No offense to my friend, but her aunt seemed quite lifeless. None of her body parts were responsive, except her head. All she can do is to make little glances and gentle moans to assure us that she’s understanding our talks.

Like me, my friend is emotional too. I know it’s really hard for her. And because I love her, I am also experiencing the same pain. God knows how poignant this can be, and I just can’t imagine what would I feel if that kind of situation struck my life. I just wish that would never happen.

Darn, even the thought of it is painful. But I realized that there are actually two things that I can call real suffering:

Losing someone you love. This is a living hell. You’d wish that it was you who’s dead, not the person you hold dearly. Nothing is as painful as staying alive without him/her by your side. Some people say that it’s okay because that person lingers in our soul. And I say that it’s nothing but a screwed up cliché to help us escape the fact that we lose something important that we will never gain.

Comatose. Clearly, my visit on my friend’s aunt influenced me on my perception about suffering. It’s a physical, psychological, mental, and emotional torture that affects both of the sick and his/her loved ones. If you had this, you’d wish you’re dead, because living in a world of corners, hospital machineries, and dextrose is a screwed up existence worse than hell. Furthermore, what would make you more hurt is seeing your loved one suffer because you are bed-ridden and idle, just waiting for Jack the Reaper to fetch you.

Love, I suppose, is the most valuable issue in one’s life. Even before we are born, love has already been shown as our parents has established it as the foundation of their relationship. But then again, love is not just about marriage and relationship with the opposite sex. There is definitely more to love than that. In fact, love is classified into several types. And let me share three of them:

Agape Love – The very core of love. It is a divine emotion bestowed by the Almighty Father. Agape love is more commonly called as “religious love.” This is the devotion that we show to faith and religion, the worship and the loyalty that we express for our Creator.

Familial Love - How we value our family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, etc. is called Familial love. This is the foundation of our bonds with the people we are close with.

Eros Love – I guess this kind of love is one of the things that intrigues us. Eros is the god of love in Greek mythology, and his name is used to defy romantic love or love for the opposite sex. This is the very reason on how we get deeply attached to our partner.

There are still some things that we don’t know about love. It can be its kind, psychology, or definition. However, I don’t think vast knowledge of love is that crucial (though it helps us to understand what it means), as long as you feel the very essence of it.

It’s always been rewarding to see the person you love happy from appreciating what you’re doing for him/her. It can be doing him/her a favor or giving gifts. And speaking of which, it can be more pleasant once the gift is presented in a surprising way. He/she will love it more because he/she is not expecting anything from you.

People who do this always leave their loved one teary-eyed because of the thought of giving them something in a special way.

Since it’s surprise that we are talking about, there are lots of techniques on how to do it:

When there is an occasion, especially if it’s birthday, pretend that you don’t have anything special to do, that it will be like an ordinary get-together with your friends and family.

Pull a crazy and silly stunt then give your gift after revealing your little acts (or if he/she notices that what your stuff is just an act). This is a very effective one, since your loved one’s mindset is focused on the stunt your pulling. It can be a practical joke, a “scary tactic,” a fight within your group, etc. Then when you notice that he/she is overwhelmed with the situation, reveal your true purpose of your act. No matter how upset, scared, or worried your loved one might be, he/she will certainly appreciate it.

One of the best way to show your loved one how much he/she means to you is to give him/her a gift in an ordinary day. When it is anniversary, birthday, or Christmas, your special one might be expecting a gift, thus it lessens the essence of surprise. On the other hand, when you give something without any occasion, then he/she will feel very happy on that. Remember gifts are way of saying I love you or thank you to that person, so make sure that you are giving something that expresses it. And with a dab of surprise, he/she will surely feel more joyful.